What if, when you write your own personal wedding vows, you are actually affecting your biochemistry? What if you can stay inspired and in passion-purposefully? What if your wedding, marriage or commitment vows can help you do that?
You write your own personal wedding vows to consciously define and craft a dream in what may well be the most important conversation you could ever have as a couple! You take the essence of that conversation and write it into your vows. You keep those vows active by reviewing them over and over and over and over and over again.
Helen Fisher of Rutgers University, one of the best-known experts in the field of biochemistry, believes that we’re at the mercy of our biochemistry. Wow. That sounds like we don’t have any control over ourselves at all. While I do believe that we have built-in reactions programmed by genetics. I also believe that as we take control of our lives we affect the way our mind/bodies think, work, play, love, and dream, etc. and then that same biochemistry, which sometimes can become an enemy, becomes our friend. Helen says there are three stages in romantic relationships: lust, attraction, and attachment. All of them have specific hormones, chemicals, and neurotransmitters involved. They control the way you feel exhilarated and think obsessively of one person; how fast your heart beats and how you sweat; how you bond and how you stay in long-term commitments.
Wow! All that because of tiny microscopic chains of something or other.
What I’m asking you to do is to write your wedding or commitment vows out of your rational mind. Lying in each others arms promising to love, cherish and honor each other for ever and ever and ever is not from the rational mind.
Don’t misunderstand me. This is a good thing. But in order for you to take control over your biochemistry, your hormones, etc. you have to be in a conscious and rational mind. That’s what I’m asking you to do when you write your vows.
Talk about your life together. Talk it BIG. Talk about money, talk about, family, talk about careers, talk about sex. Talk about how you are going to keep sex alive, because it is one of the primary reasons for divorce.
There are two hormones released by each partner during orgasm that helps them bond, oxytocin and vasopressin. This helps support behavior that leads to long-term commitment. When you think and talk about the life you want to lead and get it down on paper as marriage vows and then continue to review those words, you enter into the emotion that created those words. You activate hormones, chemicals and neurotransmitters that keep your life, your love, your passion, your attachment and commitment alive and thriving. By reviewing those vows you reinvigorate the emotion and affect your chemistry.
All that just from writing your own personal wedding vows and continuing to review them.
Amazing, isn’t it?